New Releases - December 14th 2019

[MetaBob]

Rounding out the week with Flightback, just before the next update. Knowing the inspiration for the story, it's nice to see the idea grow into a proper story. Not sure I would have the confidence to write anything with myself as the main character.

As I've mentioned to Mɛta, he has great skill with his writing that I admit I'm a bit envious of. The story is well written with a sweet opening scene with a cared focus on the induction. Those that like pleasant tales will definitely find something to enjoy in this.

Thank you, Shadra! I'm very happy to have received the inspiration for this piece on your (and Carefully Random's) Discord server!

And thank you to 321 (plus one other inspiration, who I wish I could recall) for the question there: "I'm curious, though, if anyone has ever written an EMCSA story about an EMCSA story writer"

I cited br0adband in reply. And Wiseguy. I even included a somewhat inevitable Wiseguy homage in my chapter 2. I felt honored to do so, and still do.

[neverm1nd]

Thank you Zork, BethanyP and Shadra for you kind words. It's always great to hea that people enjoy my writing! Thank you especially Shara for your nuanced take on the later chapters and the new ending. I definitely see what you mean, and some of the points you raised were by design. The main plot is definitely done by chapter 6, and the rest of it is indulgence and fetish fodder. Your mileage may absolutely vary on that

And concerning what you said about the new ending:

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[connie k]

Thank you, Shadra.

I will take a wild guess and say the stories diverge considerably in the end.

[4064]

AnimeCon Harem (mc ma ft) (1 new chapter)  by FortySixtyFour
After getting dumped by his girlfriend, Brian attends an anime convention with a special amulet.

Superb. As always. Makes me wish I hadn't posted the first chapter of Flightback this week.

A little Horatio Alger thing going, which is a sweet surprise, and beyond Emily joining the party, which has been apparent to me for a while, I perceive a few author giveaways from upcoming chapters:

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My Chloe character in Senioritis is named for FortySixtyFour's in this piece, but flipping her script entirely, reclaiming the good in her name. It's also a well-deserved homage.

Haha, the other fiction I write possibly leans too hard into the Horatio Alger sorta thing. Thanks for reading, man! Very pleased that now at least one other person is willing to accept a redemption scenario for Chloe characters. I mean, I write her as a bit of a hate sink, but from some of the reader responses I've gotten you'd think she was an eldritch abomination intent on performing human sacrifices and hellbent on spreading misery and destruction at any cost.

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I really want the rest of the harem in anime con harem to come together, but at the same time I am loving the slow burn on this. My only complaint is the time between entries, but good things are worth waiting for.

nametag, you appear every single time I've made a post here. Really appreciate your support, MCstories was the first site I started writing fiction on and if not for the right kind words at just the right time I don't know that I'd have bothered to keep trying back when I was struggling to balance work and writing. Message me sometime when you're free, I'm interested in what you might think of some of the chapters I'm working on.

[321]

More bottoms-up reviews (wait, that sounds wrong... anyway!)

Kallie's Subroutine sees our two protagonists on very different paths, one still trying to solve the mystery and escape slavery, and the other now sinking fully into her new life as a four-digit robot. And the number of robots continues to grow! I liked the dark turn here as

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, after being so eager to get to the bottom of things at the start of the story. Then again, she seems happier now...

Speaking of mysteries, there's more latex/robot/mind control fun going on inOut of Mind Control 2. The induction via smoke detector was creative and (quite possibly) a first for an EMCSA story? I enjoy stories with brainwashed moles and betrayal, so I'm looking forward to the next installment.

The Internship opens this week with a scene that reminds me of "Attack Angels," with a character brainwashing herself at home, after a long work day. Of course

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. Nichole certainly is a fast learner. I'm not sure how you'd put these skills on a resume, but then again, I get the feeling that her internship is going to end with a job offer she can't refuse.

Bob's on a roll in Flightback. A free upgrade, a hot flight attendant fawning over him, and then a chat about erotic mind control stories leads to sexy (dare I say romantic?) fun. And we haven't even reached Germany yet! MetaBob does a good job here with making us care about his characters, and wanting to know more about them. It'll be interesting to see where this plane goes.

More comic book fun awaits in Issue #3 of Cape City Chronicles! Our brainwashed heroine is just starting out on her new, re-aligned career path, while Lieutenant Alvarez continues to chip away at the case. If only she knew what was going on behind her back! This feels like a good setup for the next installment!

Meanwhile, poor Gene continues to juggle his girls in Blizzard. I love the character development here, as Gene and his girlfriends all struggle with their emotions and feelings. They all get some sage advice that could very well determine the outcome of the story. Also, they may want to think about cleaning those boots. They've gotten a lot of use lately!

(I still need to read through Black Swan and a few others before Simon's newest update hits today...)

[greyscribbler]

I regret what I said previously about The Internship, cuz this chapter was great. Definitely eager to see where things go, though knowing that we're not even halfway there yet (until next week that is) I can't help but wonder just what might be left in store. It almost feels like Nichole is pretty far into things already, so unless any remaining changes are drawn out, I can't help but wonder if there's a neat little twist coming up soon. Either way, will be looking forward to the next installment on Saturday!

Thanks Shadra.  There is some way left to go.  Ms. Henderson has her pretty much under control, but there's a difference between control and what the controller then makes of someone.

Greyscribbler

[greyscribbler]

The Internship opens this week with a scene that reminds me of "Attack Angels," with a character brainwashing herself at home, after a long work day. ...  Nichole certainly is a fast learner. I'm not sure how you'd put these skills on a resume, but then again, I get the feeling that her internship is going to end with a job offer she can't refuse.

Thanks 321.  Nichole certainly likes learning.

Greyscribbler

[Catsuit78]

Speaking of mysteries, there's more latex/robot/mind control fun going on inOut of Mind Control 2. The induction via smoke detector was creative and (quite possibly) a first for an EMCSA story? I enjoy stories with brainwashed moles and betrayal, so I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Thanks, 321, for your comment on Out of Mind Control 2. In this story I wanted to show how ordinary things of everyday life can be used for mc (satnav, cycling suit, TV, ...), so I just took a look around when I wrote that chapter and spotted the smoke detector ... and chose it as a very minimalist manipulation that could only work with the subject understanding the code.

Well, there's more suspicion/betrayal (and, of course, latex, mc and robot stuff) to come. So I hope you and everyone else will enjoy the forthcoming chapters (chapter IV (Tuesday) has just gone online and the remaining four will be put online in three chunks: Wednesday, Tuesday and Friday+Epilogue) as well.

Happy Holidays to all of you.

[gyrd]

I'm not usually a fan of stories as short as "Unaffected" but that one really hit the spot.  I particularly liked the victim unconsciously slipping into calling her master "Master", even as she talks about how everyone *else* has fallen victim to the MC plot.

[Redsliver]

Meanwhile, poor Gene continues to juggle his girls in Blizzard. I love the character development here, as Gene and his girlfriends all struggle with their emotions and feelings. They all get some sage advice that could very well determine the outcome of the story. Also, they may want to think about cleaning those boots. They've gotten a lot of use lately!

Thank you so much! I have the final chapters and epilogue (which is #29) written and am working with a proper editor to make Blizzard absolutely awesome. I hope to have all of the changes posted the next time I post a Blizzard chapter. Cosmetic changes, sharper dialogue, basic SPAGhetti wrestling, and affirming character consistency. The events, the characters, the romance, the plot, and the conflict remain intact, though a single world building character is added. (added a total of six sentences.) I'm really excited to show it off but editor and me have a lot of work to do before I can send off the upgraded chapters.

Thanks again, 321, your consistent comments have made the whole process rewarding. I'm glad I'm entertaining you.

[walter_kovacs]

I'm not usually a fan of stories as short as "Unaffected" but that one really hit the spot.  I particularly liked the victim unconsciously slipping into calling her master "Master", even as she talks about how everyone *else* has fallen victim to the MC plot.

Jukebox is a master of the shorter works! A shameless plug to be sure but if you are interested in a similarly themed but longer story (~10-11k) you could try this one of mine.

[Midori Konton]

More comic book fun awaits in Issue #3 of Cape City Chronicles! Our brainwashed heroine is just starting out on her new, re-aligned career path, while Lieutenant Alvarez continues to chip away at the case. If only she knew what was going on behind her back! This feels like a good setup for the next installment!

Thank you kindly! And yeah, this was mostly a setting-up-the-pieces chapter... *evil grin*

[scifiscribbler]

Thank you kindly! And yeah, this was mostly a setting-up-the-pieces chapter... *evil grin*

But what fun pieces to put on the board.

[MCaesar]

For this Day-Old Thoughts on Week-Old Stories with MCaesar, it's the big finale of W I L D W O O D

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Still, despite these notes, and those I gave on earlier chapters, this was still a very well-crafted story. I got attached to the characters, I was invested in the ups and downs of the plot, and was satisfied with the ending. One to be proud of.

[MCaesar]

Some quick Day-Old Thoughts on Flightback:

I'll echo others saying that the prose and trance are well-done. Warmth and relaxation, unsurprisingly, suffuse the reading experience.

I found my suspension of disbelief rather strained, though. What are the odds of an EMCSA writer meeting an EMCSA reader by chance in the wild? And that reader being a fawning fan of that writer specifically? And of that fan being a hypnotist? And of that hypnotist having a profoundly ethical philosophy, which I suspect mirrors the author's own exactly? And that author falling into a deep trance quickly on his first try with little or no previous trance experience? I'm no mathematician, but I think the Venn diagram there is pretty small.

But then again, I like stories about magic spells, psychic powers, superheroes, and aliens too. Maybe I shouldn't poke too much fun at a premise that's trying to be a bit more grounded. I'm finding the grounded ones more and more appealing the more mature I get. Besides, if people didn't submit their blatant self-insert gratification fantasies here, the archive would be empty.

[ErrantCitizen]

For this Day-Old Thoughts on Week-Old Stories with MCaesar, it's the big finale of W I L D W O O D

Thanks for the feedback! All comments are appreciated, especially ones that are as well-considered and supportive as yours.

I think one of the benefits of starting a new chapter with some variation on "it had been a week since" or "after months had passed" is that an author can just sort of hand wave away certain details and let the reader fill in the rest. Although that probably works better for

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There's definitely a fine line between subtlety and being needlessly vague, and I might have relied too much on those time skips toward the end.

As for the ending,

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[grey_shadow]

Some quick Day-Old Thoughts on Flightback:

I'll echo others saying that the prose and trance are well-done. Warmth and relaxation, unsurprisingly, suffuse the reading experience.

I found my suspension of disbelief rather strained, though. What are the odds of an EMCSA writer meeting an EMCSA reader by chance in the wild? And that reader being a fawning fan of that writer specifically? And of that fan being a hypnotist? And of that hypnotist having a profoundly ethical philosophy, which I suspect mirrors the author's own exactly? And that author falling into a deep trance quickly on his first try with little or no previous trance experience? I'm no mathematician, but I think the Venn diagram there is pretty small.

But then again, I like stories about magic spells, psychic powers, superheroes, and aliens too. Maybe I shouldn't poke too much fun at a premise that's trying to be a bit more grounded. I'm finding the grounded ones more and more appealing the more mature I get. Besides, if people didn't submit their blatant self-insert gratification fantasies here, the archive would be empty.

Let's see... there are more than 2500 authors on the EMCSA. If each author has a thousand fans, and meets a thousand individuals "in the wild", then, ignoring all cultural clustering, the chances of some EMCSA writer meeting one of their fans by chance would be around 28%. The fan being the sort of person the author writes about is not that surprising, given they're a fan, and an author who writes about people like himself going into hypnosis quickly, deeply and easily is going to have primed himself to respond well to hypnosis from people like the hypnotists he writes about.

Of course, the things I've left out of that analysis are that a lot more gets written about "magic" mind control than about realistic hypnosis, and that a lot of authors don't go around mentioning the EMCSA to casual acquaintances, both of which will reduce the odds considerably. Still, I'd guess at the actual figure being more "statistically significant" than "lottery win".

[MCaesar]

Let's see... there are more than 2500 authors on the EMCSA. If each author has a thousand fans, and meets a thousand individuals "in the wild", then, ignoring all cultural clustering, the chances of some EMCSA writer meeting one of their fans by chance would be around 28%. The fan being the sort of person the author writes about is not that surprising, given they're a fan, and an author who writes about people like himself going into hypnosis quickly, deeply and easily is going to have primed himself to respond well to hypnosis from people like the hypnotists he writes about.

Of course, the things I've left out of that analysis are that a lot more gets written about "magic" mind control than about realistic hypnosis, and that a lot of authors don't go around mentioning the EMCSA to casual acquaintances, both of which will reduce the odds considerably. Still, I'd guess at the actual figure being more "statistically significant" than "lottery win".

"More statistically significant than lottery win" also applies to getting hit by a meteor, but I take your point. And of course many of the criteria I listed are not independent of one another at all. Just lampshading the improbably perfect scenario. A story about a very probable scenario, where an EMCSA author does something mundane and nothing particularly interesting happens, wouldn't be a story worth writing or reading.

[scifiscribbler]

"More statistically significant than lottery win" also applies to getting hit by a meteor, but I take your point. And of course many of the criteria I listed are not independent of one another at all. Just lampshading the improbably perfect scenario. A story about a very probable scenario, where an EMCSA author does something mundane and nothing particularly interesting happens, wouldn't be a story worth writing or reading.

Never read any Thomas Hardy, man. Especially The Mayor of Casterbridge.

[321]

Some quick Day-Old Thoughts on Flightback:

...What are the odds of an EMCSA writer meeting an EMCSA reader by chance in the wild?...

Has happened to me exactly once, and I've only been a writer for 18 months or so. I guess I should play the lottery more often. 

(Although, as far as I know, this person did not know that I was an EMCSA writer, was not a fan of my work, did not hypnotize me into a deep, relaxing trance, and did not bump me up to a better seat class on an international flight. But, there's the whole 'you will remember nothing' thing, so...)

[MCaesar]

Some quick Day-Old Thoughts on Flightback:

...What are the odds of an EMCSA writer meeting an EMCSA reader by chance in the wild?...

Has happened to me exactly once, and I've only been a writer for 18 months or so. I guess I should play the lottery more often. 

(Although, as far as I know, this person did not know that I was an EMCSA writer, was not a fan of my work, did not hypnotize me into a deep, relaxing trance, and did not bump me up to a better seat class on an international flight. But, there's the whole 'you will remember nothing' thing, so...)

This has been a very illustrative conversation about, to me, the dangers of asking rhetorical questions. Though that sounds like an anecdote I'd be interested to hear. Given that we've been talking about improbability as it pertains to smutty fantasies, I'll try to keep my expectations low.

[grey_shadow]

"More statistically significant than lottery win" also applies to getting hit by a meteor, but I take your point. And of course many of the criteria I listed are not independent of one another at all. Just lampshading the improbably perfect scenario. A story about a very probable scenario, where an EMCSA author does something mundane and nothing particularly interesting happens, wouldn't be a story worth writing or reading.

Getting hit by a car, sure, but there have been thousands of lottery winners, while only a handful of recorded incidents of people being hit by meteors (or, technically, meteorites - meteors don't make it down to ground level).

All stories have selection bias - only interesting events get written about - so you need a hugely improbable coincidence (or a consistent pattern of otherwise unrelated coincidences) to have justification for strained suspension of disbelief.

[Midori Konton]

Thank you kindly! And yeah, this was mostly a setting-up-the-pieces chapter... *evil grin*

But what fun pieces to put on the board.

I know I've been enjoying playing with them.

Also, re: meeting EMCSA authors in the wild: I met an EMCSA reader in the wild once! She became an author a few months later (AskJeeves). Also we've been dating pretty much ever since that meeting, and she has me pretty thoroughly brainwashed at this point. So it's happened at least once.

[MetaBob]

Some quick Day-Old Thoughts on Flightback:

I'll echo others saying that the prose and trance are well-done. Warmth and relaxation, unsurprisingly, suffuse the reading experience.

Thanks for that. Nice word, "suffuse", too. I'll add it to the list I'll try and fit into some later thing.

I found my suspension of disbelief rather strained, though. What are the odds of an EMCSA writer meeting an EMCSA reader by chance in the wild? And that reader being a fawning fan of that writer specifically? And of that fan being a hypnotist? And of that hypnotist having a profoundly ethical philosophy, which I suspect mirrors the author's own exactly? And that author falling into a deep trance quickly on his first try with little or no previous trance experience? I'm no mathematician, but I think the Venn diagram there is pretty small.

But then again, I like stories about magic spells, psychic powers, superheroes, and aliens too. Maybe I shouldn't poke too much fun at a premise that's trying to be a bit more grounded. I'm finding the grounded ones more and more appealing the more mature I get. Besides, if people didn't submit their blatant self-insert gratification fantasies here, the archive would be empty.

Yeh, in an archive filled with stories where the MC comes via a quicky flash of light or magic or technology or drugs or costumed superhero superpowers, the idea of a "realistic" induction seems a little stretchy sometimes. I guess. 

Fwiw, much of what I described in chapter 1 happened to me in real life earlier this year, and I can easily imagine that the flight attendant in question, who really did have one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen and really did move me exactly as described, was a reader of exactly this sort of thing. They live a difficult existence, away from home sometimes for days at a time, which can make it difficult to fit in a personal life, and are often treated shabbily, indeed like, as Paul Westerberg so colorfully (and disdainfully, and unpleasantly) put it, a "Waitress In The Sky". Yet we all have needs, and desires, and hopes for something better, and find it where and when and how we can. And as I know from talking to my psychotherapist friends, and from my partner who majored in psychology, hypnosis is a thing, and like other things in college, it gets explored, sometimes rather expertly, even by amateurs.

For me, the "how" of the MC state is an entirely different issue than what happens before, during, or after. I shy away from the easy way in favor of something that is often ... sexier, at least for me, sometimes in combination with other methods, as in some of my other writing. Others feel differently, I know.

[MCaesar]

One last Week-Old Thoughts for this (last) week, though I will confess, they are less than a day old. I blew through A Christmas Conundrum? The Sinister Storm Of The Snow Queen! in its entirety this afternoon.

But actually, most of this post will be taking advantage of this opportunity to talk about My Mom Is A Supervillain?!, that Conundrum is the sequel to, because I didn't at the time.

On the more technical side, there's room to improve. The prose is noticeably on the "tell" side of the "show, don't tell" spectrum. Characters "grin" or "smile" their lines, as opposed to "saying" them, which I find calls unwanted attention to itself. At the conceptual level, the story is advertised as a superhero tale, but it's much more heavily influenced by anime tropes. Half the heroes are magical girls with transformations and special moves they yell out as they perform them. I am not particularly invested in that style, so the parts that really leaned on it didn't really grab me as much. I do like a good dash of camp in my superhero stories, but too much anime camp I can find grating, and this story sometimes rode that line.

However.

I'll be damned if this story isn't so fucking charming! If there was one thing that the anime sensibilities afforded this story, it was a dazzling earnestness. I could not help but enjoy watching the trials and triumphs of the characters. More specifically, I thought the world was interesting and fleshed out well, and the main protagonists were very entertaining.

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Christmas Conundrum is basically a special holiday episode to the main series, and retains all of the same strengths and flaws of the original. I would have liked to see mind control take a more active role in the plot too, beyond just using it on bystanders. Favorite moment: the baking scene.