New Releases Saturday January 19th 2019

[badpenny]

Seconding CerebusOne's praise for The Camping Bug. If bugs aren't your thing, heed the author comments, but if bugs are your thing, this story delivers. Young solo camper who actually prepared for her outing? Check. Creepy encounters with some wildlife, but not creepy enough to pack it in and head home? Check. Young solo camper having some fight in her when things Go Very Wrong? Check! Squicky hotness? Many, many checks! I thoroughly enjoyed.

(I have Broodcomb opened in a tab to read when I have more time. It's complete chaptered story clocking in around 20,000 words. I have high hopes from the summary and the prelude!)

[SB]

Femdom Mind Control Flash Fiction

Cant say Punishment was my thing, but I loved the other 2 stories here. Loved the logic of Dominant, and Alexandra is always entertaining, and All Aboard is no exception.
Definitely enjoyed as a compromise mark, would have been high end if just the first 2 chapters published.

Fair enough. I do experiment with a lot of different things when it comes to these and, sometimes, I write harsh, just like in Punishment. Pleased you enjoyed the more lighthearted affairs though.

[Addiction]

Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

This Is Our Story
I finally picked this one up and it is amazing. I don't even care about the porn parts. Excellently written, sucks you in and you want to know what happens next with or without the porn. A very slow burn.
Most of Ice bear's shorter stories tend to fall on the cruel side for me, making me like them less. Though to be fair, I think that's because he takes the mind control to its logical conclusion shattering my 'romaticized' version of it. I'll actually be buying this on amazon from him if they'll (Amazon) allow it.

Time Manipulation Mind Control
Now that it's finished, I'm still divided on this. mypenname3000's output is incredible. He keeps writing and writing which is commendable. I wish I had that dedication. The issue I have is that he's writing for what teenage me would have liked; lots of raunchy details and long sexual descriptions. The issue is that there's too much of it, there's no selection process and just paragraph upon paragraph of smut. Sometimes you don't want to read all the details. I found myself skipping large parts of it because of that.
That being said, there's fun bits in it too. Some fun scenes, despite it being very straightforward. It hit some notes I liked in a good way.
I'm glad it didn't devolve into a god-king protagonist controlling the world, which seemed to be the case in the middle. I read it mostly to see how it ended, which was ok.
Still, I'm impressed by the sheer volume of writing this person does, so I'll definitely check them out for those fun bits.

[mr potestas]

Re: Writer345
It will be available on my blog, http://mrpotestas.wordpress.com on the 28th of the this month. I can edit a link into this post when its available then, or just message you the link.

Thank you, Sir, which ever would be the easiest for you would suit me finel.  The taster that you posted has whetted my appetite...

And to my surprise, the tireless Simon already posted the update to my preview! Not that different, but was part of another set of tweaks that went into the coming full free story. Hope that wets your whistle just that much more!

This is probably my most intentionally psychedelic story in some ways, and again, I greatly appreciate the feedback I got on the preview.

[Merry Brooks]

Part 3

Generous Portions

Whether it was the 16 month gap, or whether it just didnt appeal to me, I cant be sure. But I couldnt get back into this in the slightest, so wont be taking any more portions of this, lol
No rating, see above

I Have No Idea

Bit of a different chapter, in truth more of a long rant, and less story. So other than sympathising with Brian for his problems, not much here for me in truth.
No rating, just a get out as I have no idea how to rate it

Magical Girl Syn

Maybe it was a bad day, no idea, but seems a lot of down marks today? I'm not saying Todd and Co didnt deserve a bad fate, because they probably did. But in truth, this chapter really didnt do much for me, mainly sex and violence. Still want to know how things play out, but this chapter wasnt a great one for my tastes.
No rating, just really not my thing

Resistance 2

Given the nature of the story, its hard not to have lots of sex in this, but thats not a big turn on for me. I'll be interested to see which way things play out for Robert here though. Hints of events at the end dont excite me, but we will see.
No rating, taste issues

Without a Thought

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch! The concept was certainly a clever one, but even in such a short story, I got bored by the semi repetition of events. There is at least a fraction of explanation at the end, but that really was it. But yeah, it felt like a hypno piece, and thats never been a grabber for me
No rating, taste issues

More later in week

[Shadra]

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

[Angst]

Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

I've tried to really get into this one, pretty much every time another chapter or two has been posted. The problem is, I must have missed an important detail early on, if it was provided. I just have a hard time figuring out how it was done in the first place, especially in a way that one of them notices, and the other seems to go about their life with no realization that they're in another body?

It's a bit like walking in late to the theater when a mystery is playing, and trying to connect all the dots that you missed before you arrived. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning again and try it over.

[Merry Brooks]

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?

[Pan]

Mad Monday
Consistently good and hot. Pan stories are hit or miss with me, but this particular tale has definitely hit. I've been following it on and off for a bit so I thought I'd give it some more praise.
Good characterization, love the internal struggle of the protagonist and Belle/wife being consumed by hormones. I'm curious to see whether She'll make a scene at the 556 and what exactly Belle in Wife's body thinks of the whole situation.

I've tried to really get into this one, pretty much every time another chapter or two has been posted. The problem is, I must have missed an important detail early on, if it was provided. I just have a hard time figuring out how it was done in the first place, especially in a way that one of them notices, and the other seems to go about their life with no realization that they're in another body?

It's a bit like walking in late to the theater when a mystery is playing, and trying to connect all the dots that you missed before you arrived. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning again and try it over.

The premise is largely inspired by the Freaky Friday book (which I had as a kid), which is told entirely from the daughter's point of view. I've tried to recreate the same setup from the mother's POV, but I am so familiar with it that I may have missed something. Let me know if the first few chapters don't clear it up!

[rikimaru]

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?

Quite certain your take on my story wasn't out of character.  Kind of fun to be part of an anamoly, good or bad  

Not expecting high marks from you on this one, and more leaning towards recommending you not see it through.  Though Robert's arc is the focus, and the most engaging part for me to write.

[Angst]

The premise is largely inspired by the Freaky Friday book (which I had as a kid), which is told entirely from the daughter's point of view. I've tried to recreate the same setup from the mother's POV, but I am so familiar with it that I may have missed something. Let me know if the first few chapters don't clear it up!

I've just gone back to the beginning. I think part of what threw me off is there is quite a lot of unattributed dialogue between two characters, but at times the same person *seems* to be speaking twice in a row (in separate paragraphs) rather than alternating. It's difficult at times to figure out exactly who is speaking.

Normally, such 'shorthand' with dialogue works fine, much better than

"blah blah blah," said Joe.
"foo foo foo," said Mary.

Over and over.  But for long chat scenes, especially if not strictly alternating, I think it gets confusing when none of the statements are clearly attached to a character.

[Pan]

Noted! Thanks for the feedback.

[mr potestas]

Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

"He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much! Hey, Goldmember! Hey, Goldmember ..."

Now that I'm more than used to the fast pacing, I'm greatly enjoying this. I must admit Jimmy comes off as a bit slow witted, but that is certainly intentional. It makes this all just that much more amusing. Young shallow Jimmy showed that he has some honor in him, but has no idea how to handle how that honor karmically affected him. This is a well implemented ironic joke. But perhaps, the joke is not as ironic as it would seem. We might just all be kinda stupid in our own ways when we hit that university age. That's why most go for that Bachelors, most aiming to overcome that latent stupidity toward the very things that interest us. That transformation out of stupidity mixes very well symbolically with the TF elements now coming into play. Delicious, hilarious fun thus far!

[Merry Brooks]

First time I've ever gone 100% NR in a batch!

Bittersweet achievement ceremony? I'll bring the ice cream quarts.

Its not one that fills me with joy, so ice cream might not be a bad idea! To be fair, I might have been a bit down yesterday, as I was doing application forms online for benefits relating to my new disabled status, so maybe I was just being picky, but dont think I was?

Quite certain your take on my story wasn't out of character.  Kind of fun to be part of an anamoly, good or bad  

Not expecting high marks from you on this one, and more leaning towards recommending you not see it through.  Though Robert's arc is the focus, and the most engaging part for me to write.

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears!

[Doctor MC]

Bimbo-Midas (mc mf ff md gr) (3 new chapters)  by Doctor MC, Mad Scientist
A leprechaun gives Jimmy a ring that turns any woman whom Jimmy touches into a bimbo.

"He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much! Hey, Goldmember! Hey, Goldmember ..."

Now that I'm more than used to the fast pacing, I'm greatly enjoying this. I must admit Jimmy comes off as a bit slow witted, but that is certainly intentional. It makes this all just that much more amusing. Young shallow Jimmy showed that he has some honor in him, but has no idea how to handle how that honor karmically affected him. This is a well implemented ironic joke. But perhaps, the joke is not as ironic as it would seem. We might just all be kinda stupid in our own ways when we hit that university age. That's why most go for that Bachelors, most aiming to overcome that latent stupidity toward the very things that interest us. That transformation out of stupidity mixes very well symbolically with the TF elements now coming into play. Delicious, hilarious fun thus far!

Jimmy Bailey is not slow-witted—he's majoring in hythogal engineering—he's just nerdy, and thus not adept at people stuff. But you're right in that I'm putting off the moment when he realizes, "I caused all this."

I'm glad you're still enjoying this story.

[Merry Brooks]

Part 4

Binding Rings

Is Karla going to get a ring? I know a 'Carla' who'd love one, but I think I'm safe from him at my age! Fine, personally, I'd rather he used a ring on her, or Emily, but anyway... Its a great story, and if it wasnt for the incest, would be getting better marks, but because of that...
Definitely enjoyed

Following Her Dream

Mixed emotions here. I love the processing, and would love it done on me. At the same time, Violet wins no prizes for likeability, and Janet was no better pre enslavement! But fine, once Snow and Violet get together here, that scene is pretty hot
High end of definitely enjoyed

Her Mother’s Daughter

Well, if Maud isnt into the SM stuff, and she really wants a slave, of a suitable age, give her my number! Tell her, I want the processing, just because I'd love it, anyway... Personally, I suspect she's got 2 slaves forthcoming unless Caitlin is MC'd into being dominant anyway!
Until the actual incest starts at least, happy to give high end of definitely enjoyed

Living Dead Girl

Gwen might be a 200 year old vampire, but she's a great character with it. Yes, I'd happily provide her a meal or 3, if she felt the need! The whole scene between the 3 of them is absolutely great, as they get to learn more about each other in here.
High end of definitely enjoyed

Last batch to follow (might be 2, might be 3, might be 4, we will see?)

[rikimaru]

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears!

Much appreciated, though, while I can't speak for everyone, I've thicker skin than that.  I've never really understood getting upset over tastes.  You can't please everyone, especially in this subject matter!!

Which is not to say I don't value your opinion   

[Shadra]

Following Her Dream

Mixed emotions here. I love the processing, and would love it done on me. At the same time, Violet wins no prizes for likeability, and Janet was no better pre enslavement! But fine, once Snow and Violet get together here, that scene is pretty hot
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thank you as always for the review. I'm glad you find this chapter more enjoyable!

Janet certainly has made mistakes, in more ways than one. We'll get to see how she's learned from that soon, so part of me does hope that she can be redeemed in your eyes.

As for Violet, there's no hiding that she's not a good person. She's manipulative and greedy, but there's a bit more to her that I hope to explore before the end. I don't expect people to change their minds about her entirely, though.

Like I said, we're nearing the end, so I hope people that enjoyed the story thus far are satisfied with how things turn out! Big surprise planned for next chapter, can't wait to have it ready.

[mr potestas]

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one can’t help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

[Merry Brooks]

I'll let you make the call on whether I stop or not. Only doing that, because someone recently got upset when I took the call to stop reading a story, and I hate tears!

Much appreciated, though, while I can't speak for everyone, I've thicker skin than that.  I've never really understood getting upset over tastes.  You can't please everyone, especially in this subject matter!!

Which is not to say I don't value your opinion   

You'd be surprised by some people. As CW will tell you (if appearing here), many of the reviews for stories that get no rating (not taste issues ones) used to get far blunter comments (I'm from Yorkshire, home of bluntness, lol), but a few got so hurt, I toned them down. Also had complaints about spoiling, even when I didnt come right out with full details, which is why some seem so vague nowadays.
There are also a couple who just told me they didnt want me to review their stories any more, so I dont. One was because they were hurt by the mark downs for large updates, for heavens sake!

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one can’t help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

Yes, its way beyond my 20K limit too, but I do want to read it, for similar reasons

[Writer345]

Part 4

Her Mother’s Daughter

Well, if Maud isnt into the SM stuff, and she really wants a slave, of a suitable age, give her my number! Tell her, I want the processing, just because I'd love it, anyway... Personally, I suspect she's got 2 slaves forthcoming unless Caitlin is MC'd into being dominant anyway!
Until the actual incest starts at least, happy to give high end of definitely enjoyed

Thanks for the honest comments, Merry, three chapters to go and they've already been sent to Simon...  Thanks to your reviews I know that at least one person reads the stuff that I write and doesn't sound to disappointed so I must be doing something right!

[Midori Konton]

Magical Girl Syn

Maybe it was a bad day, no idea, but seems a lot of down marks today? I'm not saying Todd and Co didnt deserve a bad fate, because they probably did. But in truth, this chapter really didnt do much for me, mainly sex and violence. Still want to know how things play out, but this chapter wasnt a great one for my tastes.
No rating, just really not my thing.

It’s a fair cop. Here’s hoping you like the next one better.

[Merry Brooks]

And getting finished...

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade)

My visits to a leisure centre in the last 10 years can be measured on the thumb of 1 hand (it was a job interview!), but I'd consider visiting this place, for the 'benefits'. Not quite sure what this disabled old lady could do (other than sauna, or jacuzzi), but who knows what might happen there. It is long, but the rb tag, and the author attracted me. Yes, I found the mc very tasty here, and Mr Scade always produces a good read.
But yes, most definitely needs to be marked down for length (should it be 2 for over 20K?), so I'll give it a definitely enjoyed

Betsy Falls for VR

Ah, Betsy comes back as the target of the author here. Fine, given I know the author in real life, her description of her amused me somewhat, just saying, unless she's been in a rejuvenating pod since I last saw her! I must admit, one of the thing I always fancied when they first come out was doing the whole VR thing, including the full immersion suit. Yes, that one might be fun, if they need another author? Or I get a job as Betsy's agent?
High end of definitely enjoyed

Broodcomb

I cant say the early part of the story grabbed me, but I gave it a skim, to see how it played out, and it got a lot more interesting! Fine, I could pass on the bees, but the actual mind control stuff done on me, whole different matter.
Length markdown, low end of definitely enjoyed

This Is Our Story

Fine, I think Hailey deserves to stay as she is, but anyway... I do like Conner's morals in trying to put things right, but I'm glad he's failed so far. If he wants to swap my looks (and dancing skills) for those of my avatar, I would really appreciate it, just saying... Story is an absolute delight, I must say
High end of definitely enjoyed

Thats it for this week, thanks as always to all authors posting, reviewed or not

[Mr.Scade]

Bedazzled (Mr. Scade) (mc ff ft rb) (new)  by Mr. Scade
K convinces her two friends to visit a brand new leisure centre that is the talk of the town. With its decorated walls and disciplines some of them have always dreamed of trying, this place has more on offer than eye-catching designs on the walls and pretty women in skin-tight outfits that one can’t help but stare at too long... The classes here are designed to not just improve your body, but your entire way of seeing the world.

As far back as when I reviewed stories more seriously, I had a guideline of avoiding stories greater than 5k words in a single update. However, everything about Bedazzled just screamed for be to read it: skin-tight bodysuits, robot TF! These are not new themes per-se, but sometimes it can be hard to find a story that does it in a way not generic or cliched. Here, the prologue gave off an engrossing air of etherial mystery. Not a tone setting I was expecting, but that's a great thing. There were times I found myself reminded of some of the more unreal sci-fi themes of the show Odyssey 5, which had a couple episodes that dealt with people becoming robotic in some way. The tone lightens a bit as it goes along, but that prologue ensured at least an undertone of mystery. I must say that the writing style of this was quite interesting. There was a very stream of consciousness feel. I don't always like stories written more casually, but it worked fine here, moving the reader forward in an arguably natural way. Maybe this did not have to be as long as it was, as I did not have the time to get into this as deeply as I would have liked. However, I did enjoy this unusual story overall.

I thank you for your consideration.

 Length-wise, the story behind it is that the commissioner simply paid for a lot of words. And then I delivered more.

 I personally find that MCStories lends itself to episodic readings and, well, I already explained the faux pas that happened with my submission. Mea culpa.

 Recently, someone said that my writing style, both in story and out, are very fugue-like and... yeah, I think I finally understand that criticism to be part of me as a maker of words that make stories. Writing is reading, and reading is wandering the in-between spaces amongst trees in an empty forest.

 I thank you for your patience and time for some encouraging words.

[mr potestas]

I thank you for your consideration.

 Length-wise, the story behind it is that the commissioner simply paid for a lot of words. And then I delivered more.

 I personally find that MCStories lends itself to episodic readings and, well, I already explained the faux pas that happened with my submission. Mea culpa.

 Recently, someone said that my writing style, both in story and out, are very fugue-like and... yeah, I think I finally understand that criticism to be part of me as a maker of words that make stories. Writing is reading, and reading is wandering the in-between spaces amongst trees in an empty forest.

 I thank you for your patience and time for some encouraging words.

The length got me thinking a bit. "Binge watching" has become a big thing, and I wouldn't be the first to admit to sitting for hours to watch much of a show's season. Yet, MC stories tend to be episodic, especially in how we have traditionally liked to read them. Can binge reading be encouraged here? Is reading ~5k works at the most in a single sitting truly the max for the MC reading experience? I think that this might be a positive discussion amongst the MC readers and writers at some point.